am sorry

It hurts when someone comes with hopes and you know that u'r gonna hurt them by saying no.
It happened second time today when parents invited someone for the marriage proposal. I know it was my worst behavior for which am just not known and feel ashamed myself too. No i did not say or do anything that would have belittled the guests. But a silence and terse replies is no way to treat guests either. They must have sensed something wrong. How i wish that they reject me before my parents say them so.
Why do my parents have to do so. Have told them clear and think i need to sit and tell them once more and the final time that this is what i have decided to make out of my life. i may fail i may succeed but that it is to be.
But i carry the burden of being unpolite to the guests and hurting parental feelings of my own and of someone else.

am sorry.
Lord, please don't forgive me and punish me severely.