Monday, November 14, 2005

Thoughts thru' the Day

Why does it happen that we know something is out of the question and still we look forward to it? Why don’t we have the power to erase something that keeps haunting? Why does the mind sometimes seem to be so weak in-front of the heart? Why did I wait when I knew it won’t happen?
Why does it seem so hard to start afresh? I know I have much better things to do. I have things that can keep me busy for the rest of my life, but why do I apply breaks for them who, I think, don’t care. Why do we tell lies? Can’t we live one life? A life that’s as simple as 2+2. Why do we have to wear masks? Do I wear one?
Perhaps, I will get my answers by starting afresh. Today, there were quiet a few surprises. And I concluded that shutting myself off will not help me and moreover it can upset my near and dear ones. I got to overcome. I am not weak. Let the countdown begin. There are so many who love me – my parents, my siblings/cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my friends, my colleagues. DGM’s gesture today will be hard to forget even if it had subtle connotations (which again is a figment of my imagination – can’t I reign it). Is the love of all of ‘em not enough? It’s more than sufficient to spend the short lives we have. Why wait for the corner when none exists. Its existence was a chimera or was it a mirage. It’s not necessary that we get what we want always. Sometimes the few moments are enough and those times can be a source of life for rest of the life. One just needs to be strong enough not to let them over awe you. Having tasted a relationship, and both its zenith and nadir, it helps to remember both the extremes and derive strength lest the nadir tears you apart.

You have got to be focused. You don’t have to fear the memories. Crushing them, avoiding them will strengthen them to haunt you even more. Taking a path and just moving along seems to help the most – as they say. Let’s try that. Don’t cut off; rather get back to normal self that has been lost. Its there inside and finding it should not be difficult.

Take care and keep the faith. Crush the ego – “Bulla ki jana main kaun

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